Nope. I'm not trying out for pro football cheer leading. Or to be a rodeo queen (I'm too old anyway.) I'm just wondering if I have what it takes to be a good horsey mommy.I imagine real mommies go through this when they have their first have child. Did you panic about it when you first found out you were in foal (I mean, pregnant?) Did all of your insecurities and doubts about caring for and raising a child bubble up and overtake your thoughts? I have occasionally ridden this emotional roller coaster this past year with My Boy. Yesterday, I did not have a good day with my horse. Nothing majorly bad happened, it was just not a good day. For one, he pulled back when tied and he never does that. It scared me. It was kind of a freak thing (the lead rope got hung up on the corner of the hitching post when he moved around the corner of it, causing it to tighten, and the old panic-holic set in.) Everything was fine when all was said and done, but I felt helpless watching him do this and it sure got both of our adrenaline racing (hence my shaking legs afterwards.) After I longed him in the arena afterwards, I was walking him to cool him out and as I directed him over a log he kind of jumped it halfway and his right hind hoof landed on the log and he rolled his ankle over it. Of course, I was immediately concerned that he had injured it. He appeared to be fine, I've seen worse stumbles. And my sister was kind enough to run out and check his leg for swelling today and there was none. But my point is- when will the worrying stop? Please tell me it won't last forever. I am afraid that my horse is going to be hurt when I go to get him out of the pasture, or get hurt during out time together, whether by his own silly doing or my negligence.
I am amazed sometimes at the careless things I do around my horse. Taking a short cut and walking under the lead rope instead of behind him, for example. It is so easy to get too comfortable and slip into the no-no's of horse handling. When he was tied yesterday, I was grooming him in an unusual place (the hitching post in his pasture) and he wasn't even really tied. I do not tie him in his rope halter (which is what he had on) so I had just wrapped the lead rope once around the horizontal post. I was being a bit careless. When these minor incidents occur, they become powerful reminders of the strength and unpredictability of horses. It is easy to just slack off and break safety rules.
Do those of you with grown children ever stop worrying? I know my mom doesn't. She called me and left a voicemail on my cell phone the other day and I didn't happen get back to her. She left me another message the next day and sounded really worried and was insistent that I return her call to let she and my dad know that I was okay. I felt bad for upsetting her. I was surprised at how much she still worries about me, her 37 year "little girl." But really, will the worrying at least lessen as time goes by and I experience more things with my horse, both good and bad? Am I still feeling the newbie anxiety of horse re-ownership? Do I have the emotional strength to have the awesome responsibility of this 1200 lb. animal at the end of my line or under my bum? I guess I need to do all that I can to insure that my "kiddo" is safe, and that I am safe while in his presence. From there, what happens will happen. And I will roll with the punches, and we'll be okay.
Excellent post on an excellent topic. I call Genny my son. I am a worry wart as well (as I am sure you can tell from my blog) and it got much worse when Genny was first injured. I was panic stricken about everything. I cried every single time the vet came to look at the leg. I couldn't sleep at night. I worried about him all the time. I asked a friend who had her mare break her leg if the worry would get better. She told me no. I am happy to report that for the most part my friend was wrong. Yes, I still worry more then the average horse owner about my guy, but it has gotten better with time. I don't start to panic when Genny trips anymore, and I even watch Genny get an ultra sound of his leg last month and didn't even cry as they were setting up the machine! So my answer to you as a fellow worry wart horse owner (I am never having human children after owning a severely injured horse) that it will get better with time, but the panic that sets in when your horse has an accident will never go away.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the worry ever goes away. Why? Because in horsekeeping, just as in parenting, you can do everything perfectly and still something can go wrong.
ReplyDeleteYour horse, like a child, thinks and acts for itself. Like a child, he can't anticipate the consequences of his foolishness. And so he bows a tendon, or colics, or bleeds. And you cry.
But think of the good times, the many days of health and happiness together! Such times are worth the worry.
PG- I have some thoughts on this, but will email you in a bit.... Cant quite get them to come out "right" here.
ReplyDeleteBut I can get out:
Relax Mom. He is fine. You are Fine. Learn from mistakes, and move on. ;)
Hugs to ya, and special rubs to that awesome horse.
I let my horses be horses, but that being said, when something does happen, I tend to obsess about what I could have done better or different. My family teases me about wanting to see my horses first when I return from an out of town trip. (I have had be "re-horsed" for 10 years now.)
ReplyDeleteHere's what I've learned from owning horses and nannying this summer: They are GOING to get hurt! You can't prevent it all. And really, the best thing you can do is have a bond with your horse so when he DOES get hurt, he won't fuss about you fixing his injury.
ReplyDeleteYou know how I am, I want my horse exposed to EVERYTHING so by the time he's 8 or so, he'll be bombproof. One thing I LOVE are our tie rings. Have you looked into these? That's all I tie my horse to, and it takes away the tying-up anxiety. Something like that would probably be a great $20 investment for you because I know how much you worry!
Just wait, in a year I'll be the mom who doesn't want to put my baby on a horse because I'm afraid he'll jump and she'll fall off and break her neck! Hahaha! I can't imagine that...but ya never know!
Ok - your post describes me and my thinking to a "T"! The nerves, the worry, yikes! Sometimes I have a hard time around horses - I worry about all of the potential things that could happen.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you or your boy didn't get hurt.
I'm hoping my nerves lessen with time - I'm sure yours will too. Although, that being said it is very scary to watch a 1000lb+ animal get scared and panic and potentially hurt themselves and you can't help.
I guess I have been a Mom so long that I have never thought of my horses being kids. They are horses. I love them to death and would do anything for them but they will be horses and will behave like horses. My daughter and I take care of them and love and groom them. But I can't say that I worry over them. Probably because I am too busy worrying about my kids! My son is not doing well, he is getting better but he is an addict. Now that is something to worry about. He takes prescription pills by the handful. He has recently had some events that have caused him to examine his lifestyle and hopefully he will come around and get help, until then I worry. I worry about my daughter and how she will turn out (she is only 16). So worry I do but it is about my kids. More than likely if I didn't have kids I would worry over my horses. But as it is I don't have enough room in my worry section to think about what "might" happen. If it happens then I deal with it. Otherwise all is well in the pasture. They have all that they need (the horses that is) and they are happy. I don't think I could ask for more. That being said the year before last I was bucked off of 2 horses. I had never been bucked off in my life and it happened when I was 48 of all times. My horse fell recently while I was on her, well she stumbled. I just naturally rolled off and noone was hurt. Her knees were not even skinned up. I got back on and we went on our way. I have ridden her several times since and she was fine. We all need to be careful around equines as they are large and can hurt us even if they don't mean to. I think you will be just fine as a horsey Momma. After all, he just got a massage right?
ReplyDeletePG- thanks for your commpliments on my blog!
ReplyDeleteI think that, if you are asking the questions that you are, you are already in the right frame of mind. If you think that you are safe or that nothing is going to happen, it will catch you off guard. People dont like to hear it but horses are really, really dangerous animals to be around and to ride. There is an old expression that goes something like, "A horse will kill itself to save its own life." That is sooo true. They dont THINK they react. I love them. I worry about them and I get that sick stomach, weak in the knees thing when I see a horse caught up or blowing up. Over time you start to see wrecks before they happen. I see them all the time at my barn where people put themselves and their horses in bad spots. 99% of the time nothing happens but when it does, it is going to be bad. Just like everything else you learn to do by habit (the good and the bad) you will develop a habit looking for danger spots in every aspect of your environment. Your worry is well placed but dont let it overcome you. You cant be stressed over the stump or the rock or your horse will become that way too. You just have to be VERY AWARE of everything. Just as a new mother learns to see the corners of tables or a pen as a threat to their child, you will as well when it comes to horse safety. I also really believe in, if possible, only handling and riding horses that you know have a solid track record of being good minded and well broke. I have a lot of life left to live....I want to see the pyramids one day and sip a latte in Paris cafe, so I dont risk my health or life on horses that are not known to be safe. If you have not already read "Risk Mitigation" or "I am scared of horses" on my blog where I talk about the same thing.
I am a first-time horse owner later in life than many of you who are "re-horsing," so I can't speak authoritatively about worrying about them. As the mother of an adult child (23 yesterday,) I can tell you the worry doesn't go away. At least when they're kids and you see them messing up, you can yank 'em up by the waist of their jeans and give 'em what for. When they're grown, you just have to stand by and WATCH them do really stupid things. After awhile, you don't even try to say anything, because they're not going to listen; they have to figure it out for themselves.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the worry "goes away". However it does modify a bit and especially after they do get hurt the first time. After that, you will know you can handle it when it happens.
ReplyDeleteI am a mother of three grown human children and no you never stop worrying about them.
ReplyDeleteWe never stop worrying about our horse children either. I think they seem to need more care and looking after than the human ones.
That said, everybody makes mistakes with their horses, hopefully when they happen it will be nothing major and we will all learn from our mistakes as we go along.So hang in there and enjoy your time with your horses, most times they will take care of themselves and you will find you were worrying for nothing.
I had a big break and got back into horses as an adult. It's been about ten years now and for me, a worrier by nature, it has gotten better about the horses. Remember, ninety percent of the things we worry about, never happen.
ReplyDeletewww.GreenerPastures--ACityGirlGoesCountry.blogspot.com
Well, I worry about my three kids all the time. My oldest is turing seven tomorrow and is at his Dad's house 2000 miles away from me. I worry a lot.
ReplyDeleteAs far as my horses, I am don't worry too much about them. I have a mare that is 14 and just recently started pulling back at such random times??? I am not quite sure what she is doing. I do worry when I tie her, but not so much for her but for the kids that run around her. I do worry about my 3 year old gelding that I just put into training with a dork of a trainer. The trainer rides fine but is a total jerk to people. So, I worry that my gelding isn't getting ridden as much as he should. But I know he is getting fed and that is all that matters.
I think you do a fabulous job, and no matter how careful you are, horses do have their own minds and they have good and bad days too. I bet he was thinking the same thing, "Man what a crazy day that was!" Relax you are doing a fantastic job with your Boy.
I worry. It doesn't go away, but sometimes you just have to relax a bit. Comes with time and experience and getting to know your horse well. Very well. Takes some time. You're a good "horse mommy"!
ReplyDeleteI already have 3 kids and worry tons about them, so I don't think of my horse as my child and me as her Mom. I think my horse has so much to teach me and I just have to trust that she'll be ok. I'm of the mindset that worrying isn't healthy for mind or body, but I still do worry anyway.
ReplyDeleteExcept I try not to overwhelm myself with it.
Right now I'm going insane from an allergic reaction to poison ivy, but I'm worrying more about my horse who is battling the flies out in the pasture. We're both feeling uncomfortable and itchy, but neither one of us can do a whole lot to change that it seems.
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ReplyDeleteHi,
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I think it's in our nature to worry...worry about our kids, our horses, our loved ones. You are doing a great job with your beautiful boy and with due time, things will get even better and there will be something else to worry about. :)
ReplyDeleteHave I mentioned to you late how much I love a spotted horse?
ReplyDeleteHi Pony Girl!
ReplyDeleteYou've already "made the cut." I think you're a fabulous horse mommy. You take such good care of your Boy. If all horse mommys were even half as conscientious as you the world would be a much happier place for all horses. Your Boy is one of the lucky ones.
Sarah
I don't have a horse but as for skin kids, yeah, it never goes away. Doesn't matter how old they get. It never ever goes away. Just get your self spayed now.
ReplyDeleteI guess having always had horses-I don't worry about them so much as I try to be aware of potential hazards. Even so-horses are reactive animals and can do some of the dumbest things. Adventures stated it correctly "a horse will kill itself to save its own life"...and they can kill you too!!
ReplyDeleteThe best thing to have on your mind is, if a horse gets in a bad situation, you have to be ready to leave. First and formost on your mind should be self-preservation. Once you are at a safe distance, you can assess the situation and decide what you need to do.
My mom ingrained in me and I ingrained in Megan-"Get out of the way first-then decide what you need to do. You can't help your horse if you are under his feet."
Of course it always happens so quickly that there often isn't time to "think" about it.
But I am with the rest of the gang-Relax PG-you are doing great and are a great "horse" momma.
I have to say that I don't honestly worry too much about Possum. SOmetimes in bad weather I hope that he is under the shelter in his paddock. But I know if I bring him in and put him in a stall he is going to be very unhappy.
ReplyDeleteRiding I am more particular than every day care. I make sure that he is fit enough to do the task at hand. When we gallop I am constantly feeling for any oddities or mis steps that could hurt him.
But as for everyday stuff maybe I need to worry more. I constantly go out to the pasture and just hang all over him. Sometimes I scootch under his bell to the other side. When I groom and scrub his legs I sit on the ground. I ride my horse into the barn all the time. I let him loose to eat grass on the farm. Sure he has gotten bumps and bruises but those are what I consider normal. I like to keep him a horse. If I worry too much he'll pick up on that energy. I try to be relaxed, sun and cool around him because I expect him to be the same. We have a great relationship and are pretty in tune with each other.
Pony Girl-
ReplyDeleteDo not worry about your capabilty to be a good mom to your Boy. As somebody already mentioned, you have done an excellent job so far :)
I think that some people--I know, because I used to be one of them!!--worry too much about the small things. You have to just go out and have fun...don't second guess the whole pulling back incident. It may have happened if he was tied up in his usual place anyway.
Having kids really opened my eyes to my own issue with worrying, and I have worked hard to not sweat the small stuff. If you are nervous and upset all of the time, you will pass that feeling on to your Boy, and that is NOT what your intention is.
So...as Sidetracked said above...relax...try doing something that is considered "wrong" with your horse, and try to find the fun in it.
:)
I have learned they will get hurt, they will do something stupid, I will most likely get hurt, I will do something stupid etc etc. I have let some of that go and know it will eventually happen. I think you will to, it just takes time.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't help anything to worry, and besides, most of the time, I'm just too busy to worry about what if's. I trust that God will get me through each day and things will always sort themselves out one way or another. That said, I do still worry...but not as much as I could.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your supportive words, everyone! I really make myself sound like a neurotic cowgirl, but when I'm with my horse, I'm actually quite fine. It's only when something seems off with him or goes wrong that the worry button gets pushed.
ReplyDeleteI also don't have a husband or children to care for, fuss over, and worry about. My horse is the only thing in my life that I am fully responsible for. I give 100% to anything in my care, even the class pet gerbil I had five years ago~ let me tell ya, he lived the life! Maybe this is wrong, but my horse is more like my pet, in how I feel about him. I understand I can't spoil him like a dog or expect him to act like a dog, but to me, he is more than just a piece of livestock or a working animal. I just get really attached. But you all had great advice and I truly value everyone's perspective!
Girl you are a great horse mommy! I agree with everyone else here, experience and time will help you relax with My Boy. And horses just like us have good days and bad days, don't be discouraged! Keep it up, you are doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely a good horse mommy!!! You care, which is more than most people. IMO, you are an EXCELLENT horse mom :)
ReplyDeleteSorry, the worrying never ends! And I hate to say bad things do happen. I worry about my horses constantly too, and my experience tells me some level of worry is justified. I had a horse get killed from an accident with a fence in June. The worst could, and did happen. It was a surreal nightmare, but it did happen. So worry and care for your horses. Just don't let the worry get the best of you. I think the best thing to do is make sure you spend quality time with them, so if something really bad does happen, you won't have regrets, or at least that many regrets. Its the same with any pets or even human friends. Last year, my German Shepherd died of stomach torsion. But the day before I took him for a lovely walk in the forest. At least I have that comfort that he had a good life, even if cut short. So go out and do something good for your horse everyday.
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