I imagine real mommies go through this when they have their first have child. Did you panic about it when you first found out you were in foal (I mean, pregnant?) Did all of your insecurities and doubts about caring for and raising a child bubble up and overtake your thoughts? I have occasionally ridden this emotional roller coaster this past year with My Boy. Yesterday, I did not have a good day with my horse. Nothing majorly bad happened, it was just not a good day. For one, he pulled back when tied and he never does that. It scared me. It was kind of a freak thing (the lead rope got hung up on the corner of the hitching post when he moved around the corner of it, causing it to tighten, and the old panic-holic set in.) Everything was fine when all was said and done, but I felt helpless watching him do this and it sure got both of our adrenaline racing (hence my shaking legs afterwards.) After I longed him in the arena afterwards, I was walking him to cool him out and as I directed him over a log he kind of jumped it halfway and his right hind hoof landed on the log and he rolled his ankle over it. Of course, I was immediately concerned that he had injured it. He appeared to be fine, I've seen worse stumbles. And my sister was kind enough to run out and check his leg for swelling today and there was none. But my point is- when will the worrying stop? Please tell me it won't last forever. I am afraid that my horse is going to be hurt when I go to get him out of the pasture, or get hurt during out time together, whether by his own silly doing or my negligence.
I am amazed sometimes at the careless things I do around my horse. Taking a short cut and walking under the lead rope instead of behind him, for example. It is so easy to get too comfortable and slip into the no-no's of horse handling. When he was tied yesterday, I was grooming him in an unusual place (the hitching post in his pasture) and he wasn't even really tied. I do not tie him in his rope halter (which is what he had on) so I had just wrapped the lead rope once around the horizontal post. I was being a bit careless. When these minor incidents occur, they become powerful reminders of the strength and unpredictability of horses. It is easy to just slack off and break safety rules.
Do those of you with grown children ever stop worrying? I know my mom doesn't. She called me and left a voicemail on my cell phone the other day and I didn't happen get back to her. She left me another message the next day and sounded really worried and was insistent that I return her call to let she and my dad know that I was okay. I felt bad for upsetting her. I was surprised at how much she still worries about me, her 37 year "little girl." But really, will the worrying at least lessen as time goes by and I experience more things with my horse, both good and bad? Am I still feeling the newbie anxiety of horse re-ownership? Do I have the emotional strength to have the awesome responsibility of this 1200 lb. animal at the end of my line or under my bum? I guess I need to do all that I can to insure that my "kiddo" is safe, and that I am safe while in his presence. From there, what happens will happen. And I will roll with the punches, and we'll be okay.