Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The View From Here


This picture was taken last spring. But I feel like it's the view I am facing now.

The water is murky. Everything is dreary. I want to stay in the saddle and keep those feet dry.

Maybe it's that time of year. The end of winter. It just drags on and on. Is the end in sight?

I don't talk a lot on my blog about the overly personal things going on in my life. However, you know pretty much everything that is going on with my horse's personal life. Don't worry, I have his consent.

Right now, I have a lot of things going on, from many different facets of my life. I don't always chose to share them on my blog. It's just my nature. I am actually a fairly open person, on a good day I might tell a stranger my life story if they give me the chance. However, for some reason, I am not 100% comfortable doing that here.

Nothing major to worry about, I am just busy, mostly in a good way. And a little overwhelmed, trying to see people I haven't connected with in a while, working hard, horsin' around, trying to keep up.....the to-do list is always long.

Back to my horse's personal life. Thank you for all of your insight and advice. I talked to the vet about his bump and emailed her pictures this afternoon. Of course, she can not diagnosis over the phone, but thinks it might sound like a sarcoid from my description. She will call me tomorrow after viewing the pictures tonight. Paint Girl reports there is not much change in the bump and said that it might look a little flatter than it did on the weekend. If it stays the same or worsens, I will have the vet out on Friday for sure.

Amazingly, I am not as anxious about this as I have been in the past about My Boy's health. Previously, I have really freaked out about his injuries and health issues, even the minor ones. I think it's like having your first baby. I hear that you call the doctor every time she spikes a fever. By your second baby, you're like, um, here's some baby Tylenol, let's see what happens. And by the third child, it's like, third child? Where's my third child? They have a fever? Just kidding. But you know what I mean.

I think as we grow older, and mature in our experiences, things become less scary. The more bumps in the road (no pun intended, sorry My Boy!) the more things don't go right and you worry then they turn out fine, the less you worry the next time. Well, I will worry a teeny tiny bit less. Mercy, I am still me. Thanks to what I believe is a genetic propensity to experience more anxiety than the average person (darn those average people) I will never face anything different, difficult, or scary without some sort of worry. The thing is, I think I've gotten to a point where I can actually face them and deal with them now.

Maybe this is a sign that as I turned 38 last month, I am finally starting to.....grow up?

And hopefully before too long, my view will look something more like this.

Lots of blue sky, dry ground, tank tops, and trail rides with family and friends.

26 comments:

  1. I hear ya, PG. I'm wishing for Spring/Summer, too. And for my ability to walk so I can hike, letterbox, and of course, ride again.

    But I'm afraid to wish for it too soon. Last year we had 90 degree temps in late May, and then the next day we had a snow and sleet storm. gah!

    I hope you can find some balance and peace in your life, although you have many activities that are keeping you busy, my friend. Take Care of yourself :)

    ~Hugs
    Lisa

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  2. Ummm... none of my business really, but just watching A Farmer Wants a Wife here and thinking of you... you could send some of these city gals flying I reckon!!! Want an Aussie hubby??

    Just a thought...
    Hugs
    BB

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  3. As much as I bitch about middle age, the saving grace of it is the level of BALANCE, peace, joy and love that I now have. I can honestly say I am not prone to worry at all. I'm 18 years older than you. All things pass and in the end, all work out exactly the way they're supposed to.

    Ooh ooh, go for the Aussie husband [wicked grin]

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  4. PG-
    I've had a horse with sarcoids, and it doesn't look like one to me. They don't usually just appear overnight either. I can't say for sure w/out touching feeling it. But from the looks of it and how you describe it appearing it doesn't sound like it. They won't go away on their own either.

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  5. We keep getting glimpses of Spring! Hopefully it's right around the corner-- I have tulips starting to come up, so I'm getting excited! I hope My Boy's bump is diagnosed quickly! I'm a worrier, too, so you're definitely not alone :-)

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  6. I too am feeling depressed with all this winter crap. We just got dumped on with a foot of snow the other day and I wake up to it being 6 degrees out this morning. I'm so sick of the cold, I'd kill for it to be above 40 for a day. This weather also make sme not want to ride, no ambition.

    As for the personal stuff, I guess I might be a little too open on my blog. I'm having a hard time being alone now and feeling like I'm never going to find anyone. I could use dome of your advice on the guy front hahah. Keeep up the good work, us appy sisters need to stick together.

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  7. Totally understand on the “busy” front lately. As many folks may have noticed my blog posts have pretty much dropped off the face of the earth! Not planned that way at all. Just is.

    Hang in there. Spring is on the way and hopefully it will start being drier than wetter soon.

    Oh and “spring forward” is almost upon us!!!!

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  8. It's supposed to get close to 80 this week!! I am looking forward to maybe breaking out some capris!! Hooray!! Sorry.....

    I still freak out and worry all the time. Ugh...it's a horrible feeling, worry. It's the worst.

    I hope everything works out with Your Boy!

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  9. I certainly hope that 38 is not the cut off for growing up, as I'll be 48 in a few months and I doubt people would put me in the All Grow'd Up category yet.

    BTW...you've been tagged!

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  10. Hang in there PG! Try not to worry about things you have no control over, that's my motto :) (Which, in my case, covers just about everything! ha ha)

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  11. I'm a worrier too, but you're right, I think it does get better with age-we're all eagerly awaiting spring and those spring days in the saddle (before the flies come out!).

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  12. That last picture looks fabulous! I can not WAIT until spring.

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  13. It's okay, I don't worry nearly enough, so I think we even out!

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  14. Temps are just starting to rise here but we have a long way to go to get to anything like your last photo. Have to go through the puddles and mud stage first.

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  15. Just think PG..with all that slimy murky mud below our feet, lies bright and insightful thoughts ahead.
    Each day brings changes to keep our minds alert...all will be good for you, I have faith.

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  16. I think you are :( because you did not get your desert fix this year!!! You have had a "sun" break in Feb for the past 3 years and your body and mind miss it!

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  17. Take care girl , spring will come.It always feels like forever. As far as calming down about injuries and bumps in the road it is a funny thing that happens as we become "more experienced" ( sorry 42 and stil not a real grown up and don't plan to be)you just start to develope a sense of what is an issue and what isn't .Last April I looked out the window and saw my friends old mare lying in the pasture, up on her chest ,no real sign of a problem to any one but me. I shot down there in my jammies and proceeded to blanket her and sit with her until the vet arrived to eauthanise her . She was in conjestive heart failure and renal failure , the onset really can be sudden. What made me realise something was wrong? can't tell you but after this many years with horses you just know it when you see it. My boy looks like he is a terrific horse and sarcoids are really for the most part a blip on the radar.
    Sorry loong winded huh?

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  18. {BB}~ An Aussie husband would be a great distraction right now! ;)

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  19. Well, I hope the "bump" turns out to be nothing serious. But those Appy's do tend to have skin problems sometimes. I still worry if a tail swishes the wrong way, LOL!

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  20. PG wait until you turn 50 (I wouldn't know yet of course). I heard you really don't care about what anyone says or does....now that's freedom! You're probably too young to sport any gray hairs but once they appear, that ole worry goes right out the window! I liked your refection in this post....thanks for sharing.

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  21. I agree on the major attitude change which takes place at age 50! This is the same age I also got into gear to write my "horse novel" -- still writing my first draft on page 500! It's a joy....but like you, I can drive myself crazy with worrying. I have found calmness in a more spiritual life (not just from the back of a horse, either). It's something to strive for, PG! It is so much better to know I can handle what comes my way, make my life one that I love, and cherish so much....like our animals.... without the warping aspect of senseless worry. Am I free from all of it? Nah...my husband would attest to that, I'll bet. But does worry and fear guide my life? Nah! Think Spring...it's snowing today in Alaska and the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog race may flounder is some of the deepest snows in recent memory. Racers will have to break out their snowshoes......

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  22. Hugs to you and your boy, Ponygirl! I hope everything works itself out - it usually does... Hope spring arrives for you soon.

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  23. Yep, we are sick of winter out here in Indiana, too. We have had a couple of warm days (above 40 degrees), but they are saying it will rain all weekend -- there goes my chance to ride if they turn out to be correct. I know what you mean about freaking out over the horse health problems. When my Divna had all those eye problems (she eventually lost her eye) it was pretty stressful. But she came thru it like a champ and is doing great. Modern medical science is a wonder!

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  24. Call the vet,PG, you'll feel better knowing what that bump is. Maybe you could do his spring shots at the same time so it's not just about that. I wonder if it could have something to do with the halter rubbing him? Maybe he leans on the buckle and itches his face there. I might sound crazy, but Silk has been rubbing her face on everything now that she's shedding. She'd like me to stand in front of her and curry comb her face all day. I have a saying, "I'm allergic to 'not knowing'." And your sister is right, the earlier you catch something the less of a big deal it is.

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  25. Yea, after each kid you do get a little less jumpie when something happens, you can imagine what I ignored by the time I had my sixth kid... HA!
    Considering I am writing this comment in late April, I love the weather and now can spend so much more time with the horses.
    I hope to read soon about what the bump is.
    take care PonyGirl

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I love hearing from my readers!! I truly enjoy all of your feedback, advice, helpful tips, and stories. You all make me laugh and I learn so much from you, too. I will try to post replies to your comments as often as I can.

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