Saturday, August 30, 2008

When You're Strange

A co-worker asked me a strange question the other morning. She likes to do this (ask me strange questions.) She asked, when you think about doing something, do you operate from fear or from hope?

My answer was rather convoluted and somehow, I ended up relating it back to horses. I explained that I am an anxious person by nature, but have learned to manage anxiety relatively well. I told her that in the past six months, I have done a lot of thinking about how horses think. How they operate in prey animal mode and seek comfort, safety, and some, (like My Boy) food, at all times. How they don't think logically. And how as a human, I think completely different from a horse, and yet I often transfer human emotions and feelings onto my horse and expect him to reason like a human. I told her I have to think of what motivates my horse, and to approach our work and play together from that perspective. I have discovered that understanding how to be a successful horsewoman has given me confidence in other areas of my life. And although I don't always operate from or face things in a hopeful manner, I know that as I have matured as an adult, I also operate much less from fear.

That being said, I do believe that my emotions on any given day can transfer to my horse. I think if I am feeling anxious or stressed, my horse feels it, too. Yesterday, when I took My Boy right outside of his pasture gate and attempted to brush him there, something I never do and that was out of our routine. As I tried to brush his face, he acted silly and headshy and terrified of the brush. I have no idea what his deal was, I've brushed his face hundreds of times and he could have cared less. In retrospect, I felt like I was in a bit of a hurry to spend time with him, as I still had to go in to work afterwards for the rest of the day. My head was filled with all the things I still needed to do, I was tired, and my focus was not calm, and it was not on my horse. I honestly believe horses pick up on that energy. Maybe my anxiety was giving him something to be anxious about!

Spanki, the wonder-mother, bunco-playing, picture-taking friend of mine over at the Mills Family blog tagged me for a meme. I have to tell you seven strange things about myself. Do I have to limit it to seven? Goodness, I'm just kidding! I think I will hold off on sharing those things for now, at least not in one sitting. I wouldn't want to overwhelm you. I will probably share a variety of strange things about myself in future posts.

But before I go, because I know you're curious, I'll offer one strange tidbit. For some reason, when I was younger, like a pre-teen kiddo, I really liked these grass seeds. Late summer and early fall, when the seeds would top each long blade of grass, I would enjoy pinching the seeds off and sliding them into my hand. And I would pretend they were something.....pile them up, and release them to new ground, or throw them in my sister's hair. Whenever I see those seeds, I still find the urge to slide them off their blades and hold their feathered lightness in my hand. But I don't think my sister would be to happy if I tossed them in her hair anymore!

In closing, I wanted to thank everyone for their incredible insight and advice in regards to my search for a cowboy! I really enjoyed reading everyone's comments, opinions and personal stories of how they found their own true loves, please keep sharing! And I promise to keep you all posted on the search, which I hope to officially launch with vigor this fall.

17 comments:

  1. Nice post! You're right a strange question, but a good answer! I liked the grass seed as well, it's soft and smells good!

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  2. Well, I gotta hand it to you Pony Girl- you 'get' it. The horse thing. Gawd, I cannot tell you how many women( and I am talking about women that have started riding as an adult, not born to it) do not get the ideas you put in your blog today! I try and try to help them understand- but some gals just never 'get it!"
    And for your question- I always go on hope. But I'm a Cancer and we're just like that. Not to say that I haven't overridden fear more than a few times-
    At the show the other day there was a fun class- egg and spoon race- and forty of the top riders in California in there to have fun. In comes a women of a certain age ( you know what I mean) and she's riding a very green paint colt. And her spur gets hooked in a box that was sitting on the rail and that ol'e pony tucks its tail down tight and looks like he's going to launch himself to the moon or gallop there. Well the women grabs leather, sets her mouth and hauls on her right rein, sending ol Paint into a tight spin! His haunches relax, his tail comes un latched and he finally quits trying to jump the moon. One hundred folks breathe a collecitve sigh of relief. The class goes on. After the class I ride up to her, say " Way to Cowgirl up!Good job!" She smiles a little, shakes her head and says " I wasn't about to let him throw me with all these people watching!"

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  3. You used to throw grass seeds in my hair? I don't remember you doing that!
    And I just found out today that you used to pull my hair and you tried to strangle me? I must have forgotten all these mean things you did to me because I don't remember! Good thing too.

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  4. Oh no, you're dredging up Paint Girl's repressed memories! Don't you know that repressing memories is a form of mental self preservation! lol

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  5. Poor Paint Girl, LOL!! Man, the love of a sister is strong. I was the second to youngest of five girls!! Sisterly love!!

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  6. If I were to list 7 strange or unknown things about me people would probably never come to my blog again!

    I look forward to your cowboy search. he he

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  7. Good post Pony Girl with a lot of good questions. I think you are right about the brushing of your boys head, he probably picked up on your anxious energy. I'll be looking for the strange things about you, but we have them all don't we? Anyway good luck looking for your cowboy this fall.

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  8. I think I'd like your co-worker. I like questions that invite me to dig a little deeper.

    Your response is very well thought out and wise.

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  9. I go on a prayer! Always!Great pictures I took one this weekend with you and my other "sista" Paint girl in mind! I will post it in a few!
    I'm telling you a good roping is where to look! The roping we just went to there were over 200 teams in each roping!

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  10. It is always fun to learn that you have gained wisdom and insight...at least in some areas right??? LOL!!!

    About the cowboy thang...just find a guy that makes you happy. If he likes animals,or has his own hobby, he will most likely not mind your horse obsession :)

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  11. i am so excited to see your answers, go check out what we got over the weekend...

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  12. Hey Pony Girl,

    There is a challenge and a giveaway at my blog! You should stop by if you have a chance.

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  13. I got waaayyyy behind in reading blogs. I tell ya, miss a couple of days and you miss out on a ton.

    Kwdhorses is right in her comment(from your last post). My Honey is NOT a horsey dude. He didn't even like them(or cats) when we started dating. I made one thing perfectly clear on that front...I have had horses all my life and they are MY thing, if you don't like that...there is the door. Never, one single time, in nearly 7 years, has he complained about my horses, my time or the money invested in them. That in itself makes him worth his weight in gold.

    But, there are changes in the wind...

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  14. I love this post and I love your insight. So very true. Thanks for writing about it.
    And good luck with that cowboy love search....but remember, don't chase a cowboy, let him come to you.
    Do the things you love, with a passion, and the passion and love will follow you. :)

    ~Lisa

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  15. Very good question for all to ponder...me? I can be fearful in many situations and have learned to go ahead and be scared. I'm pretty sure that fear has saved my personal bacon more than once; but not to ever let it stop me from doing what I want. But in my dreams, ahh...there it's purely hope - I can ride like the wind without a second thought! That goes for just about everything in my life too. I think fear is God's way of giving us self-preservation! Learn to use it to your advantage. I loved your thoughts on this subject and I say you're right on the money about the horses. They are like a giant sponge. I try to remember to take deep, cleansing breaths and have a clear mind when approaching my horses. It's kind of hard for us humans to deal with everything and everyone in our world as honestly as the horses do. Gotta love em!

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  16. BEC~ changes in the wind?? Can't wait to hear the scoop!

    Cingspots~ I love that, the image of a horse being a sponge! So true!

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  17. Great blog! Such insight!
    I don’t do anything out of fear when it comes to my horses. Other issues, there may be times that I fear what may happen if I don’t do something, but it is rare. I do believe that I am always hopeful no matter what I am trying to accomplish. Unfortunately there are times when all I can say is that I had the best of intentions when something did not work out well.
    Thanks for sharing a little of the unknown. I too have several things that I always think about when I see something that reminds me from when I was younger.
    I await your vigor to find a cowboy! Good luck!

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I love hearing from my readers!! I truly enjoy all of your feedback, advice, helpful tips, and stories. You all make me laugh and I learn so much from you, too. I will try to post replies to your comments as often as I can.

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