Thursday, August 28, 2008

PG's Cowboy Search

Nope, I didn't run off and get married. But Jewel lassoed her cowboy Ty Murray. Lucky girl!

I only know one cowboy right now. Oh goodness, is that sad or what? He is a friend of the family we met through my Auntie J. He has wrangled our sorry tushes on many rides through the desert. He has saved one of us when she panicked on the edge of a cliff when riding by moonlight. He tromped through the date palms to get us a tiny sample of the local flora and fauna. He let us stop at all of the scenic spots along the ride, and took our pictures. He adjusted our stirrups. He likes to do that even though those of us that ride can do it ourselves. He eats the shrimp we can't finish and laughs as we polish off too much "cowgirl lemonade" and get silly. He takes us on secret covert operations. On rooftops. But you didn't hear that here. He is one of the good ones.

Cowboy Deputy Dog on duty.

But. He is not single. But that's beside the point and brings me to a topic I have wanted to talk about. Since I have been back into the world of horses, I realized that it would be kind of nice to find a guy who also enjoys horses. What are my odds? I know they are out there. The horse riding guys. But where do you find them? Not the ones my cowgirl friends warn me to stay away from. But, the good ones, the cultured cowboys?

I will not bore you with the other qualities I am looking for. Aren't they usually the same? Intelligent, good sense of humor, likes kids, compassionate, yada yada. I can not limit myself to a "cowboy," by definition. A man who wants to live in the country and appreciates nature and animals would suffice. I can always try to convert him to horses later. It seems to have worked for a lot of people I know. Easier said than done, converters?

Besides, I am a little concerned about "the cowboy way." After all, what if I meet a cowboy and I completely disagree with his philosophy of riding and training horses? Cowboys can be cowboys and will often ride like cowboys. I do not ride like a cowboy and I am not at all impressed by men that ride or handle horses roughly. After all, I am more into natural horsemanship and cowboys probably poo-poo that with a wave of their tan leathery hands. Therefore, I might butt some horns with an old-school cowboy. I'm all for learning different horsemanship methods, but if I completely disagree with how someone chooses to handle their horse, then what might I think of how they approach the discipline of our future child? I'm just sayin'.

I have to put myself out there. Surround myself with other horse people in horse-related situations. That is where I think I will have the best luck finding someone with similar interests, goals, and dreams. That is one of the other reasons I have been attending clinics and shows and hope to join this new "Parelli horsemanship club" (akin to a book club, of sorts.)

It will be a long journey. But the first part of the journey was finding My Boy, and starting the trip. My Other Boy will come along, too.

And goodness, being single is really okay as well, despite what society says about it. I always have My Boy when I feel the need to be in the company of a big pill. And despite the rising costs of hay, feeding My Boy surely must cost less than feeding a cowboy?

Gus McCrae.....where art thou?


  1. Try good friend fell in love with a cowboy she met thru EHarmony and ran off to Idaho and got married and is living happily ever after on a big ranch. I found a city boy I am working on converting:-)

  2. You need to go to ropings! I'll tell you why...
    1.)You will see how he treats his horse.
    2.)Quickly find out if he is a "Real" cowboy!We all know about the phoneys!
    3.)You will also find out if he is single.
    4.)Is he a winner?
    5.) What kinda horse trailer and rig he has.
    6.)is he a bad loser? Does he have a temper?
    7.)Look at all those cowboy butts!

  3. TW's advice is pretty good :)
    But I have to say that I did well my way. Pie had grown up with no pets or critters at all (not even a fish!!!) Now we have 2 dogs, 2 cats and 3 horses (one of which is 'his'). He's taking riding lessons. He's learning how to do things, one bonus of which is things get done 'my way' (I'm super picky about how tack is put away! lol)
    Find a good guy and he'll either be a rider, learn to be a rider or not ride but be super supportive of you and your boy. :)

  4. Keep doing the "klinik thang" and maybe a single guy will pop up, with a like mindset no less! I can line you up schedule-wise for the rest of the year with folks to go see. Your best bets are the Brannaman clinics in November in WA.

  5. I also got lucky and ended up with someone that loves animals (dogs, cats). He had no horse experience but he knew from day one when we met that I was a "horse" girl and someday I would own horses again. So when my employee offered Brandy to me for free I knew he wouldn't say no. 2 years later he said he wanted a horse (he said it would really be mine but he wanted to ride it whenever he wanted too). I never thought I'd hear those words out of his mouth. He will not ride in the arena (he thinks it is "boring" going around in a circle) so he only rides a few times a year when he is available to go trail riding (he works 6 days a week almost all year) My trainer gave him lessons a year and a half ago when Fritzy was in training. He still doesn't know how to tighten a cinch, nor does he know how to put the bridle on (this was one of my goals this summer that just has not happened due to unforseen circumstances)although he does know how to put the halter on, brush them, hook up the horse trailer, build barns and he feeds the horses for me every morning! (Thank you for the extra 20 minutes of sleep!) It is a work in progress, I don't always agree with some things he does but I am just happy he has shown an interest in my love and life of horses.

  6. I reckon create your own - it's like the budget version of finding one ready-made. It's the same with horses - if you buy a ready-made trained horse, you are dealing with someone else's training and the problems they've created. A horsey man will come with his own ideas and they may not be the same as yours. Find a nice man and teach him to ride your way - makes for years of happiness!!
    But keep your eyes open for your very own Tom Booker!

  7. Girl~keep your eyes open and you will probably find him when you least expect it! TW is right on about attending ropings or rodeos~you will seperate the "wanna-bes" from the real thing! I will say I'm married to the real thing and he is wonderful! He has been riding his whole life! You are going to find alot of the bad cowboys you are talking about, but stick with it, he is out there! You never know you might find it isn't a cowboy you find after all! Look at BECG she is married to a biker and I don't think he rides at all! The main thing is that they treat you with respect, love you and of course support your horse addiction! Good luck girl and be safe!!
    BTW-if you're ever down in Texas~I could hook you up as well! :)

  8. Well, seeing as you've already got lots of good advice, and you're plenty picky (and I mean that as a compliment, not a slam!) enough to weed out the chaff, I'd say you're on the right track.

    And there's nothing that says you can't appreciate a fine cowboy butt (thanks for the morning grin, train wreck!!) even if it doesn't come attached to the full package you want.

  9. My two cents? At least My Boy cant pee on the seat, or leave it up.

    Nuff said.

  10. PG, darlin' ya just gotta keep doing what you're doing. Relax, love life, enjoy My Boy. Build a wonderful life for yourself (which it sounds like you are) because that's what you bring to the poker table with you. The richer your life, the more you have to offer.

    I got lucky. The second I stopped looking, Mr. Fry found me. Although we were both originally from the (gasp!) East Coast, we met, fell in love and continue to thrive in Texas.

    It will happen. And I love Train Wreck's advice!!!

  11. Someday he'll show up when you're not looking for him. and if he doesn't there is nothing wrong with being single and enjoying yourself. Good luck.

  12. My friend, there is a lot to say for being single, I guess. There are times that I want to run out of the house to never return (except to the barn)...but even though my husband isn't a cowboy, doesn't ride AT ALL, he did build a barn, fenced in 3 pastures and feeds the horses when I am too tired, arranges to get the hay for the winter, breaks the ice in the winter, so he's pretty handy to have around. Believe it or not I once was looking for a cowboy but ended up marrying my best friend, my husband.

  13. Well I've been married thirty years to a non cowboy! How on EARTH did that happen! I KNEW cowboys- that's how! Hunny what you want is a RANCHER! Those are the guys with muney! To support the horsey habits we've aquired!
    Cowboys are fine for fun and games- but when it comes to supporting the family- well Cowboys are by nature lone rangers, renegades, rule breakers- all fine for BOY FRIENDS- not hubbys. Now RANCHERS have stability- they have a steady income- they are indulgent with their wives and girlfriends and they can afford really good horses!
    BUT if you really want to play with cowboys go to the Cutting and Reining shows- Hello! Cowboy Mall! And most of them know what they are doing, and ride fiercly without being harsh (but stay away from the Parelli-ites unless you like girly men!)
    And always remember no matter what- Saddle your own cowhorse!

  14. My advise is that you have to go where they are and BE PICKY! We're rootin' for ya!

  15. Oh Pony Girl...well, normally I would say "sit back and relax! let nature take it's course!" but you aren't hardly ever in situations to meet single men, let along single cowboys! Your job, your hobbies...not really single men magnets. And he has to be single, right? haha! Just kidding.

    I'm with train wrack, only I was going to say go to team pennings and sortings. Those guys tend to be more "horsemen" than a lot of the younger ropers. Now, I have to say a lot of older ropers, my grandpa and dad's generations, are wonderful horsemen. Its the youngins that think of their horse as a machine and only use it for one job, every single day.

    You'll find him, PG.

  16. Don't count out non-riding boys. You are gorgeous enough, sweet enough, and intelligent enough to convert any guy into what you want. Interests go both ways: You'll pick up his and he'll pick up yours if you love spending time together.

    Of course, my husband doesn't ride, but he knew when he met me that I love horses, and if he wanted to see me truly happy, he'd have to get us set up so that I could have my own horses someday.

  17. Speaking from experience here..... Find a non-cowboy and convert him.

    I married a computer geek. We moved to the country (since boarding costs are inane) and he LOVES the country life! He even help with the horses and will ride occasionally.

    Since the horses aren't "his thing" he doesn't argue with me regarding the care or training. Instead he smooches on them, and cleans stalls when I ask for help. Perfect!

  18. I did the same thing Lulu did. I found a wonderful "computer geek" who had never lived in the country or been in to horses and converted him. He now has his own horse and rides with me regularly, he does chores without much complaint and even threw all his "city ways" to the wind to buy a big chunk of land out in the boonies so we could have horses in our backyard and a variety of other critters. He is thrilled...and so am I.

    My mom met the cowboy of her dreams through her trail riding club. You can really get a good feeling for a cowboy when you go horse camping in the mountains with him and a group of friends!

  19. I was going to suggest joining a team penning group. They run those at various ranches around here near every weekend. My friend Jess, found hers through Cutting. Me? I'm most happy with my darling Brit! There's none better. I don't think I'd get along with a cowboy, myself.

  20. Ahhh...the Holy Grail.

    Excellent advice and observations on here.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single and I say that as a confident, single woman who can look after herself just fine, thank you very much.

    That said, I'm dating someone who is actually a little anti-horse. (Was that a collective gasp I just heard?) Not sure how it will all pan out, however, I'm finding that if I'm true to myself, authentic, and know what I'm willing to compromise on and what I'm not, things generally work out.

    I firmly believe that two people don't have to have all things in common, as long as we each respect the others' right to enjoy the things that interest us.

    My advice, let the Universe know what your intentions are and then just get out there and enjoy your life. I think you're already do both of those things.

    Did any of that make sense...?

  21. "cultured cowboy" Is there such a thing? I think TW gave great advice as well as many others. You have to put yourself in places to meet the type of person you are looking for. Eventually, you'll find him. My husband is a "rodeo" cowboy. And that's okay with me. Not what I intended for myself but couldn't be happier.

  22. oooooo, good post. Lotta good points made here too. I agree with TW, hit up some ropings, cowboy events, etc. Vaquerogirl has a point too, you might not want a "cowboy" but maybe a rancher? Although keep in mind, ranchers will make you pull a calf (birthing 101) because you have "smaller hands". (they just don't want to get dirty is all)
    Trailboss has a good thing at the end there too. She married her best friend. Can't say enough about that. Find a guy you can talk to, and work together as a team, who is your best friend, and that's it.
    When Wade started coming around, we'd always talk. We still just sit on the porch and TALK every night!! That kind of thing can't be bought or made. It just IS.
    And I gotta say too, the right guy might not be what you think at all. I quit lookin, then Wade came to town and I swear, EVERYONE talked about him. Good and bad, but boy, did they talk. Like he was some kinda God or something (roping God. He is a good roper) So I met him and I was like "What? Are you people SERIOUS? THIS is what you're all excited about?" (I told him that later too)
    But I could not believe it. He's a skinny, average looking cowboy! I can pick him up and throw him! (or so I thought. Easier said than done these days)
    AND, you might have to make your own cowboy. There's always adjustments. Wade had bad cowboy habits. He once (gasp) hit my donkey. In the face. And then he watched me come UNDONE. I was in his face so fast, and I mean IN.HIS.FACE. telling him he can get the **** out of here and if he intends to stay, he better not do it EVER again. He won't, I guarantee you. I scared him. I just made it real clear I wouldn't tolerate certain things.
    Sometimes you have to "make" what you want, or tweak it a little. You'll know when it happens. That song "Whatcha gonna do with a cowboy" when he don't saddle up and ride away? That is true. They'll just come over and STAY, lol.

    That said, now WHO can we fix you up with??? I'm racking my brain. I'll find you one :)
    Wade has a brother who's single, but currently in the Army and in Afghanistan. Ranch raised, FULL ON gentleman, great with kids (my daughter thinks he hung the moon), in his mid 20's. Does that interest you? He can ride, I assure you.

  23. What a post and what the comments! My two bits. My DB is non horsey to the extreme (he shells out the $$ but has nothing more to do with them). It works for us. Horses are MY passion and I like my time alone at the barn. On the other hand, it can really suck to not be able to go camping together or ride, go to shows and all of that jazz. If I wanted to live the country lifestyle and have a farm, I would only go for a horseman. If I just want it as a hobby, I’d ‘make my own’ or look for a non horsey guy.

    If you want the whole kit and caboodle, I'd go for a horseman. Two reasons. First, is that you really cant know for a LONG time (well after you are emotionally invested) if a non- horsey guy will take to the lifestyle or if it will become a bone of contention between the two of you. If he will end up resentful of them, the cost, the hours etc... Secondly, because nothing turns me off more than watching a man that cant ride. lol. If I am going to indulge my romantic fantasy, I dont want it to come with a guy bouncing around the saddle or trying to protect his "jewels" by standing up in the stirrups!

    As for cowboy vs. rancher, I think that comes down to the man. You can have a rancher type “good ol’ boy” with no $$ and is therefore a cowboy or your can have a rancher that is really a rough and wild cowboy. I’d look for the quiet, gentle eyed type that seems to take charge with just a look. You know the type? That kind of man that doesn’t need to prove he is a cowboy, he is confident and secure. As my friends say when we watch this kind of man ride, “If I were a hose, I’d let him ride me all day too!” LOL As for training styles, I would just look for a guy that is fair and gentle natured, not natural horsemanship (too little of them). If a man treats his horse well and is quiet, you wont have trouble. Besides, debate inspires passion!

    I’d make sure that if it is a cowboy, that he comes from a similar socioeconomic background as yourself. For me it is not about $$ it is about having continuity between the way were raised and,, in the future, how you will raise your own children. I’d go cuttin’! Sorry for running long! Read my post from today for a link to a story of cowboy love!

  24. Wow you sure got some feed back on this post! How about starting an EHarmo*ey type dating service for cowboys???? If you start it you'd have the pick of the litter, so to speak! TW had some good ideas!

  25. No advice on husband picking...I was bad at it. My current husband is the guy my parents kept telling me I should have married. I finally took their advice and have the greatest guy in the world.
    The first photo of you friends is so touching and lovely.
    Good luck

  26. I am going through my little brain thinking of the cowboys I know. Can't say there are any I'd want to torture you with. ;) Find a great guy and he will love horses because you love them!! I cannot wait to read about you meeting your prince. :)

  27. Your nuts...I wouldn't want a guy that likes horses. I got asked out by one of the male polo players in college and I just couldn't see a future with a guy who likes horses as well. This is MY hobby. MY stress-free zone. I don't want my man impeding in that. The closest I would want my man to come to my horse is to take picture of us at a show or to surprise Genny with a bag of carrots now and then. Horses are MY thing and I don't want to share it! And I agree with you that it really isn't so bad to be single. I kind of like getting to be as selfish as I want right now. Hopefully you and I will find some wonderful men, but if I find one that rides I am totally sending him over to you!

  28. Btw, I was going to mention that last month I was able to watch Jewel sing a capella at a very small theatre. It was amazing, like out of this world amazing. I read that she had been secretly engaged for months and they eloped a few weeks after I watched her. Her new single "I do" was what made Ty propose! How romantic is that?

    Also, I have been meaning to say for some time that My Guy is really beautiful. I am not an Appy fan, AT ALL(I actually dislike Appys and have been bucked off 5 out of the 6 I have ever ridden!)but each time I see your photos of him I say to myself, "Damn, now that is a nice Appy!" I love his neck! Great head, great ass and just a really nice balance over all. Even his color is nice!

    The two of you make for some pretty pictures. You have a great sense of country style (and I love your tack too!) and are gorgeous to boot!

  29. Aw, horse-crazed, thank for the great compliments! Everywhere I take him, I always get a lot of compliments on my Appy. I know a lot of people don't like Appy's, I don't take it personally. ;)
    I loved everyone's dating advice!!!

  30. So did I PG, so did I. Of course all of the advice is from women so it's suspect right there... :P

    I've just got one question... why do you want a "cowboy"?

  31. ll~ I guess my thoughts on meeting a "cowboy" are that I might find someone that is, at the least, interested in living a simpler other words, no loft in the city, preferably acreage in the country. In the end, I really suppose I'd prefer a "horseman" over a cowboy. At the least, he must love animals and want to get out of the city, and, of course, support my horse habit, even if he never has an interest in them himself.

  32. This is maybe out of order, but once you get one you have to have a couple tests: some of the best advice my Mum ever gave me growing up on our ranch.

    1- see what happens when you have a cow that is calving and you have a date planned. Does he a)go tend to his animal in need or b)does he just say, "she'll be fine" and leave her. This will show a lot about him and how he'll treat you.

    2- honestly - how he treats his mother.

    good luck, try joining a riding and roping group or penning etc. You just sit in the stands and ask a lot of questions about people. Some 'old woman' (usually a roper who likes to gossip) will tell you all the dirt on everyone.

  33. I think your heart will know when it is right. No matter the cowboy in the man, it is more the man in the cowboy, so to speak, even if'n he is not a cowboy at all.
    I hope you find your hearts true love!
    I am fortunate to say I did when I was 14 yrs old and I am still with him 37 years later.


I love hearing from my readers!! I truly enjoy all of your feedback, advice, helpful tips, and stories. You all make me laugh and I learn so much from you, too. I will try to post replies to your comments as often as I can.

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