When You're Strange

A co-worker asked me a strange question the other morning. She likes to do this (ask me strange questions.) She asked, when you think about doing something, do you operate from fear or from hope?

My answer was rather convoluted and somehow, I ended up relating it back to horses. I explained that I am an anxious person by nature, but have learned to manage anxiety relatively well. I told her that in the past six months, I have done a lot of thinking about how horses think. How they operate in prey animal mode and seek comfort, safety, and some, (like My Boy) food, at all times. How they don't think logically. And how as a human, I think completely different from a horse, and yet I often transfer human emotions and feelings onto my horse and expect him to reason like a human. I told her I have to think of what motivates my horse, and to approach our work and play together from that perspective. I have discovered that understanding how to be a successful horsewoman has given me confidence in other areas of my life. And although I don't always operate from or face things in a hopeful manner, I know that as I have matured as an adult, I also operate much less from fear.

That being said, I do believe that my emotions on any given day can transfer to my horse. I think if I am feeling anxious or stressed, my horse feels it, too. Yesterday, when I took My Boy right outside of his pasture gate and attempted to brush him there, something I never do and that was out of our routine. As I tried to brush his face, he acted silly and headshy and terrified of the brush. I have no idea what his deal was, I've brushed his face hundreds of times and he could have cared less. In retrospect, I felt like I was in a bit of a hurry to spend time with him, as I still had to go in to work afterwards for the rest of the day. My head was filled with all the things I still needed to do, I was tired, and my focus was not calm, and it was not on my horse. I honestly believe horses pick up on that energy. Maybe my anxiety was giving him something to be anxious about!

Spanki, the wonder-mother, bunco-playing, picture-taking friend of mine over at the Mills Family blog tagged me for a meme. I have to tell you seven strange things about myself. Do I have to limit it to seven? Goodness, I'm just kidding! I think I will hold off on sharing those things for now, at least not in one sitting. I wouldn't want to overwhelm you. I will probably share a variety of strange things about myself in future posts.

But before I go, because I know you're curious, I'll offer one strange tidbit. For some reason, when I was younger, like a pre-teen kiddo, I really liked these grass seeds. Late summer and early fall, when the seeds would top each long blade of grass, I would enjoy pinching the seeds off and sliding them into my hand. And I would pretend they were something.....pile them up, and release them to new ground, or throw them in my sister's hair. Whenever I see those seeds, I still find the urge to slide them off their blades and hold their feathered lightness in my hand. But I don't think my sister would be to happy if I tossed them in her hair anymore!

In closing, I wanted to thank everyone for their incredible insight and advice in regards to my search for a cowboy! I really enjoyed reading everyone's comments, opinions and personal stories of how they found their own true loves, please keep sharing! And I promise to keep you all posted on the search, which I hope to officially launch with vigor this fall.